20 Lessons to Take Into 2020

Happy (late) New Year! 🥳

I'm usually not someone who bothers with the whole New Year thing, but I don't think I can jump into the year with a random post without addressing it. Even so, 2019 was... Ummm... interesting, so to speak. Still, I think I learned more last year than I have in the last 5 prior to that, so let's hop into it!

1. Self-respect.
   A lot of us are big advocate of respect, yet we are so guilty of verbally abusing ourselves. It's shocking when you actually stop and comprehend what you say to yourself on a daily basis. The majority of the time, we would never talk to other people in the way that we do with our inner voice. Start being aware of these moments and force yourself to listen to yourself and try and rewrite the dialogue.
   
   
2. Sometimes you have to reach breaking point.
   I'm going to go right ahead and say that no matter how many times it happens, I don't seem to ever learn my lesson. However, I'm also becoming more aware of when I feel like I'm about to bubble over. It's not a weakness because it happens to the best of everyone and it does not show that you can't deal with pressure, because it usually happens in your own confinement as a result of dealing with pressure without making a fuss. I see pressure like energy. It can't just disappear, so just let it happen. Sometimes the solution will come to you at that very point.
   
   
3. You don't need to feel guilty for bring assertive.
   One of my biggest weaknesses is feeling guilty for something that I really shouldn't. There are going to be times where you have to stand your ground or push for something to be done about an ongoing issue that's not getting anywhere. It's reminding yourself that you're not being selfish or 'mean' for doing what you need to do to get whatever it is done because something has to be done regardless or sometimes people need to be put in their place. You will thank yourself for it at a later date (and other people may to!).
   
   
4. Animals are amazing.
   I'm going to keep saying it - they make me sooooooo happy! If I never need cheering up or my mind taken off whatever it is that is on my mind, watching funny and cute animal videos are the one. Or simply seeing them on my way to and from uni every day.
   
   
5. Make mistakes.
   I wish I had more opportunity to freely make mistakes without them affecting me either in the present or in the future, because you learn so much from them. I find that learning what's bad actually helps me to do better next time. The problem is that there seems to be this problem where mistakes we make seem to carry on with us and people view us more based on our mistakes than positive attributes. However, that's why it's important to take risks and acknowledge and learn from mistakes where you can (i.e.: in your first year of uni!)
   
   
6. Someone will listen.
   This one seems to have been a reoccurring point throughout my blog posts. Someone you know (or will know) is going to value your words. It may well be someone who you least expect to understand you. Sometimes that requires you to take a small risk to figure out but there is someone even if you think there isn't.
   
   
7. Lack of contact and distance tests relationships.
   I'm not saying move miles away or to not contact someone and see what happens, but it does make you question your relationships with everyone. This was something I mentioned in my '5 Lessons You Will Learn at University' post so check that out for more on this point.
   
   
8. It's not selfish to have an alone day.
   Sometimes you need someone to talk to. Other times you just want people to leave you alone and let you be and that's fine. I think we have to start respecting that sometimes people just don't want to talk and constantly prodding them when they've repeatedly made it blatant isn't going to do anything but make them feel worse. If you're the one in need of a break - go for it and take as long as you need.
   
   
9. Stay open-minded and give everything benefit-of-the-doubt.
   Okay, so there are definitely times where you shouldn't give things the benefit-of-the-doubt because it just extends the problem, but problems can also be solved through it as well or give you some direction in a way that you wouldn't have expected.
   
   
10. Life isn't easy.
    

    

    Jens Lelie | Unsplash

    The biggest lie I have been told is that university is easy. I'm sorry but, really? I've never felt so lost (about everything) in my life and it just gets worse. I'm fully aware that this will continue for quite a while and it will get harder, but hey - what can we do except just go with it and try our best?
    
    
11. Time and patience.
    Linking to the point above, we just have to hope that over time there will be resolutions and that we work things out eventually. After all, as much as we want things to be solved as soon as, it generally takes time to figure things out.
    
    
12. There will always be someone putting you down.
    Humans are horrible like that. Social psychology will tell you that it's all about self-evaluation and self-esteem, so just remember that humans simply use it as a way to maintain confidence in themselves. It doesn't mean anything. Psychology will also tell you that opinions lack validity and reliability and that's enough to question whatever is being said about you.
    
    
13. You don't always have to be happy.
    I'm not a big fan of the whole 'look at the positives' cliché. Don't get me wrong, I do think it's good to look at the bright side but when you're trying to explain your concerns to someone and they throw that phrase at you, it's quite degrading. They don't mean it in this way, but it does make you question whether you're ungrateful. The thing is, not being positive doesn't make us ungrateful. In a way, it can be good to accept that you're not happy rather than force it, because how will you ever find a solution without doing so?
    
    
14. Do you really not care?
    The amount of times when we have said that we 'don't care' when really, we do. Probably most of the time that we say it. As much as we don't want to, it's nice to think about why we do care. It can say a lot of your character and that's something that is important to acknowledge and be aware of.
    
    
15. You are never too old.
    

    

    Skitterphoto | Pexels

    Watch a Disney movie, play a game of tag with your friends, do all the things that people call 'child-ish'. We all need to have fun and just because we are now 'adults' it doesn't mean we can't enjoy our favourite childhood activities. If it helps you escape from your adult duties, go for it!
    
    
16. Don't let people take advantage of you.
    Cut them out. It takes so much resistance but gradually they'll get the point. I probably sound like an awful person right now, but you know when people need support or when they are purely taking advantage of you. The best thing is to not let it happen in the first place, but the guilt of not helping always gets to the better of us!
    
    
17. Kindness goes a long way.
    A simple hello down the corridor, asking how people are doing (with genuine interest), a random chat with a stranger in Tesco, helping someone who is really struggling with work - it all makes the difference to someone's day.
    
    
18. Experience changes everything.
    It's one thing to learn about something theoretically; it's another to physically experience and be able to reflect on it. If it goes well - great. If it doesn't go well, also great! At least you will know where you stand, but also remember that no one experience is the same so give it a go more than once.
    
    
19. Stability is going to take a long while.
    In all honesty, I have no clue what's going on with my life right now let alone a few months down the line. I'm constantly feeling lost more than ever and I know that as much as I despise it, it will be like this for quite a while, so why not...
    
    
20. Embrace the spontaneity.
    This is definitely something that I need to work on but we're getting there. Push yourself to do things that you wouldn't otherwise do or that you feel scared of doing because they are usually the times which baffle you the most (in a good way!).

And there are my 20 lessons to take into this coming year! 

What are yours?