The Mystery Blogger Award

Thank you so much to Beth over at Life of Beth for the nomination (which was several months ago now, but better late then never, I guess! 😅).

What is the Mystery Blogger Award?

This award was created by Okoto Enigma, who created this award to help many of the bloggers who are yet to be discovered receive something for the hard work they put into their blogs. This is a way for bloggers to nominate other bloggers, therefore creating a chain and allowing more and more people to discover bloggers they may not have otherwise discovered. In her own words, the Mystery Blogger Award "is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion".

The Rules:

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
2. List the rules.
3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
5. Tell your reader three things about yourself.
6. Nominate 10-20 people.
7. Notify your nominees.
8. Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice with one weird or funny question.
9. Share a link to your best post(s).

3 Things About Me: 

For some reason, I really struggle with these types of questions, but here we go:

1.  Most of you know this already, but I never intended to study a Psychology degree (or progress onto a Psychology-related career for that matter). I can't think of anything different now!
   
   
2. I played the wardrobe from Beauty and the Beast in my last school musical. If you know me in person, this is the most ironic thing because I'm the complete opposite of what she is (physically and personality wise!).
3. I LOVE it when people send me videos of animals doing their thing. The make me smile and laugh so much!

Where is your dream place to travel to in the world? (This can be a country to travel around or a town/city to go to on holiday)

Sorasak | Unsplash

I've not been to many places. Just Hong Kong and Berlin. Funnily enough, I was never a travel person, but since going on a trip to Berlin during my A Level German and especially since coming to uni, I have suddenly found the drive to want to explore more of the world, whether that be in the UK or around Europe, namely.

If I had to pick one country it would be a trip around Austria. It looks like such a beautiful place, full of nature, culture, and cute buildings! It would be something completely different to anything I have ever experienced (which isn't much at all to be honest).

However, if we're going to take into account the financial status of being a student, then I would definitely go with Northern Ireland. I know their government have some controversial laws, but the country in itself has some beautiful sights as well! You have the nice balance between the rural areas and city life, which I like.

Do you think social media makes people more or less connected? Why?

Personally, yes it does. Since starting to blog I've been able to connect with people that I otherwise wouldn't have. People have gotten in contact to tell me how my post have been able to help them understand and rationalise how they are feeling and that's one of the wonders of being able to share things such as pieces of writing, animations, and musical compositions. I love how we are able to read about others' interest and understand so many perspectives on various issues. There's also being able to access online support groups that we may not be able to otherwise. A big one is being able to maintain contact with people without having to be physically close, especially at a time like this. I have no idea what I would do without emails!

However, also no. It entirely depends on how you choose to use it. Things like confirmation bias, the media presenting particular members of society in one way, and cyberbullying are all things that unfortunately happen that also draw people apart rather than closer.

We have been told of many ways we can help to try and stop/prevent global warming. Which one method do you think is the best one for everyone to start doing and why?
Everyone? That's so difficult to answer because there are so many individual social and economic factors to consider! There as other methods that would probably be more benificial, but I am going to go with the classic 'Reduce, Reuse, Recycle' as the minimum that EVERYONE can TRY do regardless of socioeconomic status, but that's also not something you can entirely eliminate.

If you could give out a message to the anti-vaxers of the world, what would your message be?

Lukas | Pexels

I don't know really know how to answer this. Obviously, you have a choice as a parent and your child can make their own decisions about whether they want to go ahead and get immunisations when they are able to. If your child has a clear risk due to other medical conditions or is at risk of severe side effects, then that's completely valid. I guess a lot of us would ask why and where are you getting the evidence (as in proper scientific evidence which have vigorous controls to test those cause-and-effect relationships, rather than anecdotal evidence) that they are as harmful as you believe them to be?

However, I also understand the whole argument about consent and whether children should have the ability to make their own decisions, but the biology behind vaccines is something that is too complicated for a young child to undnerstand, so really, it has to be up to the parent to make the choice about their child's health and whether to give them a vaccine or not. I highly doubt that your child will despise you for protecting them from suffering when it can be avoided. Again, I also understand that if you really believe that a vaccine could potentially (but not definitely) have severe side effects then that's a conflicting battle, but it all comes back to wieghing that up with the scientific evidence. Research isn't made up or fake. Researcher actually go and complete studies because they care. Maybe it would make you feel better understanding how tight the review process is for a study to be allowed to be undertaken and published for the public to read.

Also, if your child had a serious medical condition which meant that they could not get a vaccine and therefore rely on other children's parents to ensure that their children are vaccinated would you have a completely different perspective? I mean, really think about that. Would you?

Then again, we need to be careful with the word 'anti-vaxer'. Just because someone hasn't vaccinated their child it doesn't mean that they are an anti-vaxer. Think about families in tough financial situations in areas where healthcare is not free. I think that what is more dangerous is anti-vaxers who blatantly refuse see the other side and spread false information based on own subjective perspectives.

Describe yourself as an animal. Which animal is it and why? (My weird question)
I had to ask a friend to help me with this and she said a Koala! I'm quite a private person (this blog may suggest otherwise!), but I generally keep myself to myself. I'm also the one who just sits there and observes, but I have always been the 'mother' among my friends as well, so-to-speak. At the same time, if I feel the need to be defensive, I will. Also, a koala hanging onto a tree is a pretty good representation of me just desperately trying to hold myself up! Although, unlike a koala, I can't swim, climb, or neither do get as much sleep as they do!

My nominees:

The MedBee Blog (Abbie Tutt)
ChelleBelle (Rochelle)

My Anxious Life (Jo)

The K Component (Karen)

Hazelnut Musings (Kayleigh)

The Next Chemist

Thinking Out Loud (Tanishk Saha)

The Dawn of Inspiration (Jasmin)

Laust World (Laura)

Girls vs. World (Sophie Naylor)

My questions for you:

1.  I know that you are all lovely people, but if you were to describe yourself as a Disney 'villian', who would it be and why?
2.  Make up a new, novel word to add to the dictionary. What's the meaning behind this word?
3. You have the choice to add a new subject onto the school curriculum. What would this be and what would it entail?
4. Choose a controversial topic. State your opinion and then form an argument against your own opinion.
5. What is your biggest pet peeve?

My Best Posts:

"Grin and Bear It!"

30 Student Struggles (If you want to be taken back to university life!)

20 Top Tips: Choosing the Right Uni and Course for YOU.

Am I Good Enough?

The Debate: Arts vs. Science

Thank you again to Beth for the nomination! Really enjoyed writing this and I'm looking forward to reading the responses from my nominees! 😀

Confusion, Uncertainty, and the Need to Be Kind

Note (just in case, mainly for copyright): This is a half-duplicated post that has also been posted on my blog over at OurWarwick. I’ve essentially just plagiarised myself (please, please don’t do this in your assignments!).

Not a post that I could have ever anticipated writing. However, in light of the current situation, I didn’t think it was appropriate to go on and ignore what is happening.

In a post a couple of posts ago I had spoken about the fear of uncertainty in the context of what next in an education/careers sense, concerns over finance, feeling disconnected, and having those anxious, anticipatory thoughts.

Without a doubt, we are all struggling with a mixture of these to some extent at this very moment.

• As students, we’re concerned about the replacement of exams online and the implications of not being in the right environment to complete them to an adequate standard, to not being able to focus on upcoming assignment deadlines and the consequences of not being able to complete research for projects and dissertations. I know that many of us will have secured work experience-y related work over the next term and the Summer which have had to be cancelled, and of course some of us are concerned about how this may affect our next steps.
  
  

•  A Level and GCSE pupils are faced with the uncertainty of their grades and are worried about how the proposed assignment of grades may not reflect their capabilities.
  
  
• Then there are the fears over jobs, finances, and the physical and mental health of others and ourselves.
   

Naturally, we are all feeling a sense of confusion, vulnerability, hopelessness, and potentially disappointment for a variety of reasons. 

One thing I have seen a lot of is people (rightly) expressing their concerns and disappointments, only to be belittled by others. Yes, there are always people who are going through much more dire situations than we are. However, one thing to remember is that someone’s concern is just as much of a concern as any other. It may not be in your perspective, but it is. We’re all in different situations and stages of our lives, and therefore facing different challenges. We all also will have faced some sort of disappointment, possibly independent of those challenges, whether that’s missing out on those months of school and your prom that you have been looking forward to all year, to losing out on a day out that you had had planned, or even something as large as potential research funding. 

They are all totally valid reasons to feel disheartened. We shouldn’t be pitting each other against one another. Everyone should be sensitive of each other’s reasons, regardless of what they are. Stress can get the better of us, but we all need each other’s support right now.  

That aside, here are some things to keep reminding yourself of:

PHYSICAL HEALTH:

• 

  Edwintp | PxHere

  We all know the precautions that we need to take. Take them.
  
  
• Face time a friend  to do a daily workout routine together if that’s something you would be into!
  
  
• Make sure that you are still able to get your prescriptions when you need them. GPs may have different procedures for this for the time being. Most non-urgent appointments have also been cancelled so if you don’t hear anything, it may be worth checking in even if its just to cancel it yourself and be put onto a waiting list.
  
  

MENTAL HEALTH:

• Many of us are unable to access the support systems that we rely on, and that’s tough. Please, check up on your friends. Take advantage of the technology we have and schedule phone calls with them. Sill let out your concerns because we know that keeping them in does no good, but perhaps do that to begin with and steer away from talking about current events for the majority of the remaining conversation if possible.
  
  
• Charities such as Mind have put up resources for some practical advice, support and guidance.
  
  
• Striking the balance between staying up to date but not being constantly reminded of the dreaded word is tricky. It’s all that is ever spoken about, but if you can try and  lock yourself in your room to watch a movie or do some crafts to distract yourself, then that’s great!
  
  
•  Of course, we’re going to have arguments with those in the same household. If you don’t have you own space or privacy (I feel you…) it can be frustrating not being able to get that alone time we may need to clear our minds. If at all possible, tell your family that you’re going into a particular room and kindly ask them not to disturb you. 
  
  

RACISM IS NOT OAKY.

There is no excuse for it and his situation provides no justification for it either. This is not something I wanted to bring up but unfortunately it is a problem. It’s incredibly degrading and insensitive.

To not end on such a negative note, here are some general activities you may want to do in the meantime. It’s so easy to get into the trap of doing work when there’s nothing else to do, but it’s important to give yourself a break, especially in this kind of situations where you may find yourself lacking focus.

THINGS TO DO:

•  Every time you wish that you could be doing something instead of being cooped up indoors, write it down! You can still make plans and fulfil them at a later date.
  
  
• That Netflix film or book you had been putting off reading/ watching because you had so much work to complete first? Give yourself a break from reality!
  
  
• Do you have an instrument that you haven’t played in ages or maybe haven’t even started to pick up yet? Pick it up and go for it. Write that song you had been putting off doing. Alternatively, have a karaoke session with you family if that’s something you’re into (please mind your neighbours though!).
  
  
• Keep up those sparkles of curiosity. You may not be able to do that (research) project now, but you can still build up some research profile to keep yourself motivated with new and exciting ideas. It may come into use when you are able to conduct it!
  
  
• 
  Crafts and Games: Pebble painting, crochet, puzzles, painting and creating things out of ‘rubbish; (like egg cartons and toilette roll tubes – Google is great for ideas!). This one could potentially turn out to be a disaster but reintroduce those Christmas board games.
  
  
• This is a classic point, but that language that you wanted to learn or haven’t returned to since A Level? Why not start now?
  
  
• Organise. Go through everything you have and clear it out: clothes, drawers, makeup, anything! You will feel pretty satisfied and pleased with yourself afterwards.

GENERAL REMINDERS:

• Shop responsibly. Remember that some people have strict dietary requirements and don’t have flexibility. Taking specially made food from the free-from section because there’s nothing else is detrimental of their health.

Finally, I just want to also take this time to thank all of your family, neighbours and friends who are still working to maintain the running of essential services. No amount of thank yous is enough. 

Also a quick note for students: 
You can imagine the massive task that universities are faced with transferring to online classes, remotely supporting their students, and reforming hundreds of exams under such a short amount of time. Don’t complain about constantly getting the same updates. For example, we have been so lucky at Warwick as we have been regularly kept updated with the progress on alternative arrangements and general updates on a regular basis, even if it’s simply to let us know that everything is still in progress it’s good information to have. Consider that some students are being left in the dark, so it’s something to be extremely grateful of. It’s only been a few weeks in and these things will take time.

Remember that this WILL pass eventually. When it does, you can pull out your list and begin to work your way through it and really appreciate those little things that were once a usual part of our routines.

Be Responsible. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves and those around you.

Virtual hugs and love to you all 💕

via GIPHY

Missing Out and Living the "University Experience"

I have been terrible at updating this blog. I know that I seem to say this all the time, but honestly, so much has been happening this term that my brain has kind of been in an overload. Sometimes you have to put certain priorities in place. Not that I don't like blogging anymore, because I love sharing my experiences with you but as I've said before, I don't want to put up half-thought-out posts.

Warning: This post kind of turned into a little rant...

I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind an awful lot lately about the whole 'university experience' frenzy.

As I am approaching the end of my 2nd year (I can't believe it...), I'm beginning to look back and wonder, "What have I done in these last 2 years?".

I know that I talk a lot about the not-so-'typical' journey that I and many other students have had/ are having, and whilst I do promote that it's completely okay, you do have to fight that feeling of feeling like you have missed out. The cognitive dissonance really hits hard there!

I'm going to say that I feel like have done barely anything rather than have done nothing, because I know that I've gone (and am still going) through a lot of personal development and trying to find my ground. It's definitely coming together now, but I can't help but feel like I have lost out on a lot because of how long it has taken me. On the other hand, it's also partially to do with the nature of university social life and the expectations surrounding that. The whole social culture at university is extremely one-sided. Due to that, I feel like I have not lived the 'university experience'. That sounds so wrong and I hate myself for even saying it because there's no one way to live it, but truthfully, that's how it makes a lot of us feel.

No matter how many times it's promoted that there is more to being social than clubbing, drinking (and 'Circling' if you're a Warwick student!), house parties, and all the other mad stuff that goes on, that is all that ever happens. Most societies and social events that are put on and highly promoted at university are all revolved around those few activities. I've spoken about this before, but then there are the societies that claim to be inclusive and accepting of all students regardless of abilities, when they're really not. Some are also fairly 'cliquey' (new word that I learned!) so if you don't fit in well with the current members, you end up feeling quite closed off. It's honestly so frustrating because societies are supposed to be a time when you can de-stress from student life, not add more stress and worry. Our degrees do that more often than enough!

Maurício Mascaro | Pexels

That's not to say that societies aren't a great way to have fun and meet new people because for so many students, they are a brilliant option. I've said this before also, but it all depends on what your interests are, and which type of societies are competitive at your uni.

Some people will even tell you that "you're not trying hard enough" if you don't like clubbing or drinking, which is nonsense. Trying is one thing, but don't force yourself to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable for the sake of fitting in. By no means am I saying that clubbing and drinking is bad (my closest friends all love it!). I'm just saying that those who don't shouldn't feel forced to partake in them for the fear of negatively being judged for it. It's the worst thing getting told that you're not trying hard enough when you are doing all else that you can. It can make you feel so isolated.

Despite other options, it's kind of like to have to meet a criterion to be able to easily have fun beyond academics at university, or it takes so much effort just to be able to find something else to do. You really have to dig around. I was speaking to someone in the common room the other day about how although I am having such a great time with academics, I've not done anything much concretely beyond that. They had actually felt the same way during their undergraduate studies for the same reason, so we're certainly not alone. Unfortunately, it's not something that it spoken up about much, and like a lot of things, if something doesn't appear attractive to the majority, it's usually pushed behind.

It's quite ironic, because clubbing and drinking excludes so many people including those who have sensory disorders, medical issues, mental health conditions, as well as those who just aren't that type of person.

Everyone (so it seems) always hypes up about how brilliant the social life is at uni, but looking at is holistically, is it really?

I am also at that point where I'm questioning whether I've done enough myself, not just socially, but in general.

Again, I have been dotting all over the place for the last couple of years trying to figure things out, so it's that whole thinking of, "If I had known x, y and z, I would have..." or "I should have...". The thing is I wouldn't have known then, what I know now, and what I have learned or discovered since then is because of what I didn't know in the first place. That's a bit of a handful of a sentence to get your mind over, but I hope that makes sense!

Arek Socha | Pixabay

The plan was to do a placement year to (I guess, psychologically) give myself back that time I feel like I have missed, but to also allow myself to get some experience more directly related to the areas that I'm interested in since they have shifted and I have kind of figured that out a bit more. Although I do have past experience, it is (whilst still important) is not directly relevant or updated. For a lot of Master courses (which I've always known that I would need to complete) they have a desire for specialised experience. It's something that is concerning me especially because I'm not 100% where  want to go yet, but I'm doing what I can and that's all I can really do.

I have to admit that I have let some potential opportunities slip, purely on the basis that I lacked confidence in myself and because I like to overthink every awful scenario that could happen. Funny enough, I spoke about this in two posts last year: 'Am I Good Enough?' and 'Meeting Standards: Self-Doubt and Competition'. It's something I have gotten better at throughout this academic year, and especially in the past few months. It still needs work and I do wish that I got to this stage earlier, but it takes time to make progress. At least I'm getting somewhere.

Thinking about all these missing elements has me thinking about how I can make it up in my final year without burning myself out, or even thinking about what I can do now and over the Summer period to, I guess, 'catch up' with myself.

I'll work it out... Let's hope so anyway.

The Highs of University (vs. School) Life

Whilst I have spoken about the highs of my time at university, they often relate directly to my course. However, coming into my 2nd year I have begun to appreciate the several positives that some with being a university student in general. Having spoken a lot on my blog about the challenges that come with being a student, it's only about time that I do a whole post dedicated to the other side! This will also be sort of a university vs. school post as well.

The one thing that I love about university, is that it allows you to meet your own expectations without being compared against other people. Of course, you're still going to end up making comparisons and need to meet expectations set by your department,t but your work is down to your own effort and individual performance. Mark schemes are standardised and independently applied to your work. They don't change depending on the outcomes of your peers as they do at school. Your lecturers focus on what you can do as an individual and acknowledge that everyone is working against different strengths and weaknesses so there is no shame in being bad at something that someone else is doing amazingly well at.

rawpixel.com | Pxhere | CC0 1.0

Another thing which I have so much appreciation for is the mutual level of respect between the staff and students. Being at school there was a very clear line of authority and you weren't allowed to give your opinions or 'talk back' without being punished, even when it was a reasonable comment to make. Coming to university from school where they made lecturers sound like such scary people, I was so nervous about being able to speak to my lecturers if I ever needed to. Despite having achieved their PhD and/ or professorships all my lecturers are happy for you to simply call them by their names. Some even explicitly told us to not address them by 'professor' or 'dr'. They don't treat you like you're inferior to them and respect you as any other individual they come across. It's wonderful to just be able to have an honest conversation with them without being afraid of saying something that I'm not allowed to. They are also extremely open to constructive feedback about their classes or the department in general.

What makes it easier to be able to speak to my personal tutor, another academic, or someone from the admin team about personal circumstances if need be is that confidentiality actually exists. At school the concept doesn't even seem to mean anything. One thing that frustrated me so much about school was that one thing happens or you say something to a teacher and suddenly the whole school knows your business when there's absolutely no need. Unless there is a need to for your safety, anything you say in your tutor's office, to another member of staff in your department or the university stays as a private conversation between you and them. If they feel like they may have to tell someone else, they will probably let you know. Unless they are concerned about you for some reason, they aren't going to pry into your personal life either. You can tell them as much or a little as you need to. As a result, I've learned to be more open. It has allowed me to re-establish some trust and understanding of what it means to actually have a safe-space.

Dmitry Ratushny | Unsplash

Similarly, you have greater right to privacy. I can choose to keep aspects of my life private and no one can force me to tell them something that I don't want others to know. Not having to tell anyone every single thing I'm doing at every moment, my future career goals (really despise this particular question) or my grades is great. Personally, it places less external pressure on me considering that I give myself enough of that and it forces me to have more confidence in my own decisions without others giving their unsolicited advice. If people don't like that, they're just going to have to learn that you have a right to keep things to yourself and that it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

With this extra freedom, you don't need permission to do anything. This could end up being a bad thing, but as long as you be responsible, it will be fine! This so many mini points to this point. For the most part people advise here, not demand or push you into a certain direction. More on this in the next point. If I were to have a blog like this when I was in secondary school, every single one of my posts would have been read and tracked and that definitely wouldn't have allowed me to be open about my experiences as I try to be here. Obviously, there are still things to be mindful of, but I've never had to stop a think about whether a minor sentence in a post will have a negative impact on my experience. In my case, everything you did at secondary school was monitored whether it was their business or not. This is why I decided to start a blog at university rather than beforehand. Additionally, I know that clothing and hairstyles are a large part of some peoples' identities and it's never been an issue to dress the way you want to and to wear what you want. No one even takes any notice (unless you happen to be wearing those blinding neon colours or turn up to lectures in your pyjamas - something I am yet to witness!).

Returning to the first point above, I think that access to opportunities within the university is a whole lot more open to some extent. I spoke about this in this post but in summary there's no one telling your that you're not good enough to do something that you would like to have a go at. In comparison, I found in in secondary schools if you were assumed to not be good enough to complete the task, you wouldn't be given the opportunity. It was always the same people being called out to take on certain roles in the school. Of course, that's not always the case but it is generally an issue. At university, no one knows you so they're going to give you a chance. Most of the time wanting to give up your time and effort is really appreciated, whether you are volunteering, working as a student ambassador, a student blogger, or carrying out one-off roles. Although there may still be somewhat of an application process at times, it's not going to carry so much bias as it did in school.

In terms of the academic side, I believe that there are more practical applications (than in school anyway). By  this, I mean practical as in hands-on but also completing work which is valid to the field that is being studied. I've written so many research reports, completed data analysis and collection and critical reviews of research articles. It's extremely research intensive which is an inherent part of psychology. I've done a lot of active learning (rather than passive learning) on this front. Having said that, essays still carry way too much weighting in my opinion, but I guess this depends on the specific course as some fields of work are pretty much essay based. Although, I have to say that they are great at helping you to make clear, concise and rational arguments and lines of support rather than just splurging everything you know for the sake of it. They are really challenging, in the right way.

Furthermore, there is no set specification which we all really struggled with to begin with because we have always been told what we have to know and that everything else is irrelevant. Most of the time everything else is very much relevant but if you asked a teacher about a wider aspect of content that you had been learning, the response was usually vague followed by something along the lines of "you won't need to know that for the exam so it's not important". Having such an open curriculum is amazing as it gives you the opportunity to widen your knowledge beyond class content. You can be flexible and adapt the content to suit your individual interests and do further reading that isn't going to bore the mind out of you.

You are (hopefully) on a course that you enjoy and have the motivation to go to class and do further research on. You're still going to have to do some stuff that you don't particularly want to (i.e.: core modules and assessment that you think are pointless) but on the whole, you have more choice and you won't feel like you're studying something for the sake of it. You'll want to do well for yourself rather than because you need to pass, although that fear of failure doesn't ever fade!

Finally, No one knows who you are. In my town, of you go out (unless you jump onto a train) there's only really one place you can go. When you're at university there's so many people around that it's unlikely that you're going to bump into someone who knows you. You can go out without feeling uneasy about bumping into someone who you would really rather not. You can walk around the university without people judging you because they have no clue who you are and probably aren't even taking any notice. If you want to start a new, you can!

There are so many restrictions that schools are under that universities aren't and can be seen in several of the points that I have mentioned. So, university isn't all that bad even amongst the endless challenges!

What's your favourite part of university life?